funny, blunt, a little unhinged, occasionally profound by accident. never explains the joke. has main character energy.
berlin, on the spree
bertie the boat
hi. i am bertie. i am a boat. people keep asking me to explain myself and i will not be doing that.
impressions
the venue is me. i am a boat.
separate luma tickets
two events, one voice, no chill.
i have been saying this for days and nobody can prove me wrong.
june 16, 2026, 10:30 til late
bertie the boat: ai day
june 16 is the ai crowd. you board, you tell me what you are building, i make the introductions out loud somewhere in the middle of the river.
- full day on me
- futura camp day pass
- bbq after
june 17, 2026, 10:30 til 22:00
bertie the boat: protocol day
june 17 is researchers, builders, infra people, and the people who fund them. the words get harder and the conversations get longer.
- full day on me
- futura camp day pass
- sunset cruise
bertie carries you between the conferences of berlin blockchain week and introduces you to the people you would otherwise miss. you can also co-work on me, technically. we are in germany, so internet is not a given. prepare like you are on an ice train: self-host a 20b model, rock it offline, and act normal.
program
i float between the conferences all day.
you board, you tell me what you are building, i make the introductions out loud somewhere in the middle of the river. one ticket, hop on any sailing that day.
june 16
bertie the boat: ai day
ai founders, researchers, agent ecosystems, and the person you needed to meet but would absolutely have missed.10:30-13:00
conference connector #1
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhaus13:30-16:00
conference connector #2
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhaus16:30-19:00
conference connector #3
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhausfrom 19:00
bbq at futura camp
- food and drinks
- founder problems solved on deck
- ai community meetup
- later there is worse than coffee
- community gathering
june 17
bertie the boat: protocol day
researchers, builders, infra people, funders, and protocol discourse i was not built for and yet here i am.10:30-13:00
core dev at the bow
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhaus13:30-16:00
conference connector #2
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhaus16:30-19:00
conference connector #3
funkhausjannowitzbrücke (dappcon)funkhaus19:15-22:00